The Wardrobe

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Various people have commented on the t-shirts worn by the principal characters. They're not always visible in the strips, though, so herewith a gallery page.


"If you're really a goth, where were you when we sacked Rome?" Available as a t-shirt from Printfection.
From the deceased webcomic Queen of Wands. Warehouse 23 still has some related material, but this particular shirt is no longer available.
Goth Local 571 - Individuality Through Conformity. Available from Glarkware.
A strange version of the pentacle. Well, all right, it's not really a pentacle at all, but the author of this site thinks that it is.
A logo from Meadowlark Audio, whose site has since gone dark.
Bell has a lot of shirts that were free gifts from breweries and distillers. This one is from the Meantime Brewery in Greenwich.
Another brewery shirt, this one from the Abbaye Notre Dame de Saint-Remy near Rochefort in Belgium. They make truly superlative beer. If you find some of the Rochefort 6, keep a bottle aside to donate to the cartoonist for having told you how wonderful it was.
And another. This one's from the Milton Brewery in Cambridge.
From the Scotch Blog. Not to be mistaken for any other, more recognisable, logo.
From the Bentley Snow Crystal Collection. I'm not joking.
A pretty version of Gothic Subculture. Which some would say defeats the point.
Stolichnaya! The glory of the workers! The despair of their doctors!
Bell loves irony. No, really. Another from Glarkware.
Okocim have been bought by Carlsberg now, but they used to make really good beer.
Ganser Koelsch is an obscure German beer. More information here.
Bride of the Monster, a classic? film from 1955.
A handy guide to the most important bits of Belgium, at least from a beer point of view. Somewhat modified from the map found at
The 2006 Hallowe'en promotional t-shirt from the Wychwood Brewery. Available, though probably not for long, from here.
Bell is quite prepared to be a vegetarian, in the right context. Diesel Sweeties explained it, though not why (pigs are vegetables that grow in orchards, under apple trees).
The Cross and Seal of the Knights of the Temple of Solomon. Why is Bell wearing it? You probably shouldn't ask. Available from Sighco.
When the squid attack, will you be ready? Bell will.
Bell feels that it's only fair to express her mood in a way that other people can appreciate quickly.
The breakthrough album for Evanescence. Bell has been known to listen to it on repeat for hours at a time, until everyone else tells her to stop it and get some sleep...
When you have a difficult decision to make, just ask yourself: What Would Parker do? (The answer is probably "jump off the roof on a static line" or "stab somebody with a fork".)
In spite of her gothic tendencies, Bell is not a fan of the "vampires are people too" ethos. As far as she is concerned, vampires are people who kill other people. So she has little patience with certain recent popular-cultural excursions into vampirism.
Bell does not play football, but if she did... via Real Gothic FC.


LL YR VWLS R BLNG T S. Available from the Nielsen Hayden Cafepress store.
Tangible Artifacts and Reified Sentiments. Another Nielsen Hayden, though I don't think they actually sell this one.
The first page of Beowulf (specifically from Cotton Vitellius A.xv). This particular copy comes from Carson-Newman College in Jefferson City, Tennessee, USA.
Will Build Thermonuclear Devices for Food (in Russian). The first shirt I saw from Instant Attitudes.
A capital from an illuminated manuscript. Sorry, I now have no idea where I found this one. It's pretty though.
Keisuke Kishi's "Insect of Dice".
Pandimensional Bookwyrm Association. Another from Instant Attitudes.
Elizabeth has nothing to do with the Bavarian Illuminati or any other ancient conspiracy. Really. Printfection now has (a variant of) this as a poster.
One of Elizabeth's astronomical t-shirts. This is Messier 74, photographed by the Gemini Multi-Object Spectrograph.
Another astronomical shirt, London as viewed from the International Space Station.
A composite image of the Sun in extreme ultra-violet false colour.
The Rosetta Stone. Available from The British Museum, of course. (I still think they should sell a full-size replica as a coffee-table.)
Necromancy: not just a good idea but environmentally friendly! Artwork by Aaron Williams (writer and artist of Nodwick and Full Frontal Nerdity); available on a t-shirt from Warehouse 23.
Imperial French Coffee (supplied as a blend of coffee and chicory). Elizabeth has no time for hot beverages of a non-tea nature and wears this image from 1898 to show her contempt.
Pirate or ninja? True enlightenment can only be found in balance. Artwork by Aaron Williams (writer and artist of Nodwick and Full Frontal Nerdity); available on a t-shirt from Warehouse 23.
Life lessons can be taken from anywhere. So can after-life lessons. Artwork by Aaron Williams (writer and artist of Nodwick and Full Frontal Nerdity); no longer available on a t-shirt.
There are only nine ingredients to murder... and in case you forget, here's a handy reminder. Available as shirts, bags, and soon as stick-on labels, from Fo'Paws Productions.
Hwaet! More of Beowulf. This one is available from Sighco.
The Tarantula Nebula.
David Friedman of Ironic Sans came up with this word to describe one of the things that happen when people don't know how to use their technology. Available fromCafe Press.
Plato and Donnelly had the right of it! Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Where did the dinosaur bones really come from? Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Just a forked stick away... Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
He is out there. He will return. Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
If you try hard enough... Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Obviously the sun moves. You can see it in the sky. Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Why should people only live on the outside of a planet? Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Just balance them. Everything else is conspiracy. Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
A hundred and six? A hundred and seven? They can't even make up their minds! Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Coming over here, taking our jobs and our women... Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
I don't want to show up on search results for D*vid Ick*. Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Organic birth is just a theory! Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
No giant scarab? But then how would the sun move? Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Prove it isn't there! I dare you! Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
But what sex is the turtle? Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Their invisibility just proves that they're magic. Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Millions of years? Pah. Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
Just because Mainstream Science won't admit they exist... Available from Jeremy Kalgreen.
In case your local evangelist is not sufficiently incensed already... Available from CafePress.
She's been a sweet old lady since 1940. She must have something going for her. Available from CafePress.
Funny how many people think this means "I will do it". Inspired by the works of Diana Wynne Jones.
When you only have one thing to say, say it clearly. By Matthew Belinkie; possibly available from Zazzle.
Elizabeth listens to A Podcast to the Curious, dedicated to the weird fiction of M. R. James. Shirt from their Cafepress store.
Elizabeth may or may not have been involved in protests against the 2012 London Olympics. She would certainly not have participated in any trademark violations. Original here, not commercially available.
If you're going to know something before anyone else did, why mess about with half-measures? T-shirt from SMBC. available.


Ginny went to the Garlic Festival on the Isle of Wight a few years ago. By now, other people are prepared to come near her again.
Ginny is an enthusiastic customer of The Garlic Farm - though they don't sell t-shirts.


Jaakko supports the Shuttleworth Collection
Jaakko sometimes wears the t-shirt that his university gave him.
Alamaailman Vasarat plays "kebab-kosher-jazz-film-traffic-punk-music". It probably makes more sense in Finnish.
Jaakko isn't in favour of the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, unless he's allowed to keep some for himself. From Wikimedia Commons and licenced cc-by-sa.
Jaakko is not a particularly subtle man. (This was available on a t-shirt for a while, but seems to have been discontinued now.)
Of course Jaakko enjoys Forgotten Weapons. You shouldn't be surprised by this.


The System Administrator. Taken from the Silicon Valley Tarot; as far as I know this isn't available as a t-shirt, though Warehouse 23 will sell you a deck of cards.
The logo for the Parisian bid for the 2012 Olympic Games. I don't suppose they're selling t-shirts any more.
I Want Gnu. Image by Raul Silva, I believe.
Sometimes Nils wants to express his mood. You can find out more about the M18A1 antipersonnel "claymore" mine at
Remember Y2K? Some of us were at work that night. This was the souvenir shirt.
Total Information Awareness. Oddly enough the US Government thought this wasn't entirely consumer-friendly, and changed the name.
In 2004, SCO got cracked. Many people felt they deserved it. This was the logo that was put up on their site.
Blue Harvest was the deliberately-fake working title for Revenge of the Jedi (before it got renamed to Return of the Jedi). Wikipedia has more information.
Even Nils sometimes wears promotional tie-in shirts. Not that he has an Xbox, nor would he be likely to play Blazing Angels: Squadrons of WWII on it if he had it.
The hit of the 2006 Eastercon. Available as shirts, bags, and soon as stick-on labels, from Fo'Paws Productions.
Nils may be considered to have some unconventional - or perhaps these days we should say conventional? - views on intellectual property. Available from Peer 99.
For when you care enough to send the very heaviest - the Orbital Anvil Delivery System. Primary design by John Hardin; available on a mug but not yet on a t-shirt.
Asteroid-eating lobsters? Why not? This will probably make more sense if you've read Charlie Stross' Accelerando. The artwork is by Feorag NicBhride.
Extreme sports just not cutting it any more? Try fire diving.
The emblem of the Neu Swabian League, from the Ground Zero Games universe. This and others are available on shirts via PrintFection.
Cryptography comes in many forms. The rebus is just one of the most trivial. Of course, it wouldn't be a stylised heart...
When you're coding the mean streets, you need someone you can trust at your back. Someone like Donald Knuth.
Nils likes large random numbers.
Nils is a practical sort of chap, and doesn't mind who knows it.
Nils is generally un-fond of governments, even other people's.
The fine manual should be read. It doesn't entirely matter which manual. (Was available from La Fraise but they only produce in limited runs.)
Josh Lesnick, author and artist of the comic Girly, came up with this shirt to indicate that the wearer is a Truly Manly Man. Available from Guapa Design.
A tribute to an artist who has brought that certain je ne sais quoi to every role he has played.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
An essential tool in the BOFH armoury. Available from Ben.
Want your toast holy? You need the Holy Toaster.
Nils enjoyed Defying Gravity even if nobody else did. "Fun" does not always have to be "good".
Nils certainly was not involved in protests against the 2012 London Olympics. Original here, not commercially available.
Been there, patched the bug. Available from Teespring.
What is the point of a telephone that can only run vi, after all? Not commercially available.

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